But I am less bummed because I just had one of the best weekends EVER, hanging out on the west coast in between San Diego and LA with a bunch of Hubs' college friends (who have turned into, over the years, some of my besties too) for a wedding.
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| The wedding was beautiful! |
I hardly even thought about being infertile. Really! And I don't think it was the city we were in or being on vacation; it was being around those amazing people - these old friends who are fun and laid back and funny and really, just good people. My face hurts from laughing so much. I soaked it up. I enjoyed every second.
It helps that out of the 19 of us, not one of us have babies. There are two couples who I believe to be TTC, but as of this past weekend, we're all child free. It was truly a breath of fresh air. There was no baby chat. I was only hassled with the "Soooo, when are you gonna have kids....?" question a couple of times (most of this group doesn't know we've been TTC and struggling). Maybe the therapy has been helping... maybe it was the booze... I didn't let it phase me at all!
This weekend just took me back to a time when every second didn't revolve around trying to have a baby or feeling inadequate about not being able to have a baby. It reminded me of how much fun I can have, perfect timing after my recent conversation with Hubs. Maybe I can find meaning outside of TTC. If nothing else, I figure that if I am not ready to move forward with donor eggs yet and if there is no other treatment for Premature Ovarian Failure, I might as well start having a little more fun while I'm in this "waiting to be ready or miraculously get knocked up" phase. That may be easier said than done now in my post-vacation life, but I think it's worth a shot.
Soooo glad you had such a wonderful weekend. You deserved it!
ReplyDeleteI'm so happy you enjoyed yourself. You deserve to be happy.
ReplyDeleteI loved the Unbaby Me post! You broke the news before CNN, Gawker, or the NY Times. I'm glad you had a fab weekend!
ReplyDeleteAw that's so awesome you had such a good time! I'm glad you didn't have to think about TTC the entire time and could truly enjoy yourself. I missed seeing you at Resolve. There were only 3 of us :) But it was still nice. I'm glad you get to come to the September meeting (hopefully it is still on...there was talk of not having space for us yesterday!) I'm sure we will get an email though if that is the case.
ReplyDeleteGlad you had such a great weekend with nary a thought about IF. : ) Most of my hubby's friends don't have babies either; I love getting together with them. Although my hubby is 9 years older than me so most of his friends are past their child bearing years and haven't had kids because they chose not to.
ReplyDeleteI've decided that from now on, when I'm asked the "when are you going to have kids" question, I'm going to answer with "we're doing IVF." It will either spur a conversation about it, which I'm totally fine with, or it will shut them up and maybe they will learn not to ask this question any more. I'm fine with that too.
Sometimes you don't realize how bad you feel until you start to feel good again. I hope that fun weekend is just the start for you!
ReplyDeleteThat is really wonderful! Here's to dancing your ass off with other baby free peeps! Am so glad you had fun, it's so hard to remember what it feels like to have carefree unmitigated fun off the cuff. (I need to remember to get me some of that!) Definitely try and make the most of it whilst you are deciding your next steps. Hubs and I made the most of a quiet lie-in Sunday after babysitting my Godson on Saturday and Hubs said to me 'we need to take advantage of these!' Go drink and be merry!
ReplyDeleteOh man - just what the Doctor ordered, eh?
ReplyDeleteI have friends like that - merrily childless and it inevitably ends with my stomach hurting from laughing so much. Best. Medicine. Ever.
Sounds like you needed a good release. I wish I had child free friends! Glad you had such a good time.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you were able to get your mind off IF for a little while....
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