But I am less bummed because I just had one of the best weekends EVER, hanging out on the west coast in between San Diego and LA with a bunch of Hubs' college friends (who have turned into, over the years, some of my besties too) for a wedding.
|The wedding was beautiful!|
I hardly even thought about being infertile. Really! And I don't think it was the city we were in or being on vacation; it was being around those amazing people - these old friends who are fun and laid back and funny and really, just good people. My face hurts from laughing so much. I soaked it up. I enjoyed every second.
It helps that out of the 19 of us, not one of us have babies. There are two couples who I believe to be TTC, but as of this past weekend, we're all child free. It was truly a breath of fresh air. There was no baby chat. I was only hassled with the "Soooo, when are you gonna have kids....?" question a couple of times (most of this group doesn't know we've been TTC and struggling). Maybe the therapy has been helping... maybe it was the booze... I didn't let it phase me at all!
This weekend just took me back to a time when every second didn't revolve around trying to have a baby or feeling inadequate about not being able to have a baby. It reminded me of how much fun I can have, perfect timing after my recent conversation with Hubs. Maybe I can find meaning outside of TTC. If nothing else, I figure that if I am not ready to move forward with donor eggs yet and if there is no other treatment for Premature Ovarian Failure, I might as well start having a little more fun while I'm in this "waiting to be ready or miraculously get knocked up" phase. That may be easier said than done now in my post-vacation life, but I think it's worth a shot.