Wednesday, October 23, 2013

The difference a day can make

What a difference between a year ago today and a year ago tomorrow. 

One year ago today was the last day before I knew I was pregnant. I can still remember it like it was yesterday. I had been falling back into the old standard of being depressed about infertility. It had been a rough week. I wasn't feeling well all day, so I decided to treat myself with a haircut and highlight. I was tired and had an interview the next morning so I went to bed early. I remember thinking vaguely how weird it was that I still felt hungover but hadn't drank in three or four days.

One year ago tomorrow, I woke up still feeling a little nauseous. I was a little nervous for my interview - I really wanted the job. I don't know what made me grab that pregnancy test, leftover from the IUI the previous month that didn't work. I didn't even mention to Champ that I was going to pee on a stick. Exactly no part of me believed it would be positive. 

But then it was. That vertical line showed up not two seconds after I started to pee. My whole body was shaking then. My eyes teared up, mind racing to the past several weeks - a chart that didn't make sense, a cycle without ovulating (wrong!), an IUI the previous month... I had no idea how it was possible, but there it was, an unmistakeable pink line where no pink line had been before. The pee was still drying when I ran in to show Champ. I threw on the lights and jumped on the bed, hysterical by that point. He told me later he thought we had an intruder or something and he was about to grab the bat from the closet. Ha! 

Champ didn't believe it, especially since it came out of nowhere. He was convinced the test was faulty. So of course, he ran out to the drugstore to pick up one of those fancy schmancy digital ones. I worked on a brief "WHAT?!?" blogpost and drank about a gallon of water. 

For that test we had to wait the proverbial two minutes, but there it was. Pregnant. I called my RE to schedule a blood draw for later that day, and then it was off to a job interview (talk about being a nervous, jittery mess! I still can't believe I got offered that job!). And in the span of 24 hours, my entire life changed course. 

And now! I am thankful every day. I feel lucky every day.  I swore I wouldn't take it for granted and I really haven't. Even when she is being a fuss bucket. 

You obviously need a picture. This one is from the day of her baptism (post THREE gown changes and finally in some comfy clothes!).