Honestly, I try to remember that everyone fights their own battles. I do. I know people are dealing with their own crap and are struggling in their own ways. And I realize that my infertility isn't their number one concern. It may slip their mind. They may not realize how heavily it weighs on me every day.
I am not the right person to console you and wipe away your tears about how fast your four month old baby is growing up. Or how time consuming it is to pump breast milk. Or how little sleep you're getting. Or how it's hard to get your pre-baby body back.
I have tried to be a good listener to this particular person (also featured here and even more devastatingly here). She has been a wonderful friend over the past several years and I'd hate to lose her. I know she doesn't mean to be insensitive and I love her despite the fact that she came to my office yesterday specifically to unload. Through her tears, she said she knew she shouldn't be complaining to me of all people. I just didn't know what to say. I know she's struggling right now. I have no doubt what she's going through is tough. And I'm sure she needs to talk about it with someone.
Just not me. NOT. ME.
I'm not sure what my strategy should be in situations like this. Do I speak up? Tune out? Avoid? Redirect? Remind my friend that I would do anything to have those problems?
But then on the other hand, what kind of friendship is one where you can't talk about your kid and how your life has changed because of him? I can feel her life and mine stretching further and further apart. It's sad. I don't want to lose my friends when they have babies, right?!? But can I handle this kind of conversation?
I'm not sure there's an answer to any of this, but words of wisdom are welcome. I really am torn on how to proceed.