Monday, May 14, 2012

Mother's Day Survived

I survived Mother's Day with relative ease. It hadn't dawned on me to be depressed about Mother's Day until late last week, but I decided to go into the day as a daughter, not as a "non-Mother." So I celebrated my own mother, and we also celebrated my little cousin's 1st Communion.

I was a little nervous about my family slipping and accidentally saying "Happy Mother's Day" to me, which sounds weird. We have a tendency to automatically reply to "Happy [insert birthday, anniversary, holiday here] by immediately repeating it back to the person with a high pitched "TO YOU!" at the end. So on my sister's birthday, for example, I'll say "Happy Birthday!" and she'll say "Happy Birthday TO YOU!" even though my birthday is nowhere near hers. It's just a thing we do. So I had mentally prepared myself to shrug off some accidental "Happy Mothers Day TO YOU!" comments. However, my fam must have powwowed before I arrived at lunch and there were no slip ups. I appreciated it.

We ate lunch as a family (although Hubs was out of town for a Bachelor Party) and then drove across town to my cousin's 1st Communion together. Lots of family time yesterday. My cousin's Mom, Kelly (who is only a few years older than me), went through five years of infertility before finally getting pregnant with my cousin through IVF. Then she went on to have three more babies over the next six years, all completely naturally. She's recently started reaching out to me to talk about my IF situation and yesterday she pulled me aside to give me a charm of St. Girard, the patron saint of fertility/motherhood, and a prayer book that helped get her her five year struggle. The book was a gift from her friend and the charm was passed down from my Great Aunt, who was uber Catholic and helped raise my dad (his mother died when he was three). It meant so much and I immediately added the charm to my Expect a Miracle necklace.

I had a dream Saturday night that my brother and his wife announced they were pregnant. In the dream, I yelled "NO!" and burst into tears. Note to self: prepare a better response than that if the time comes. Also, I somehow need to get the message to them that I would really really like them to tell me privately instead of announcing it in a big fun surprise way in front of a bunch of people when they get pregnant. I would not handle that situation well.

So I thought I'd save the worst news for last. Went to the RE this morning and my ultrasound showed not a single follicle on either ovary. The Menopur does not appear to be working. I go back on Friday to make sure. I had three sobbing fits on the drive from the RE's office to work and I'm trying to keep my cool here at work.

Thanks for the support after my whiny post on Friday. You guys are the best.


  1. Oh no, I am so sorry to hear about the Menopur not working. This must be so hard. Take care today. I'll be thinking of you.

  2. I'm really sorry the Menopur doesn't seem to be working. :(

    How lovely of your family member to reach out to you and to give you the St. Girard medal.

    And I think you did an amazing job of getting through Mother's Day with a great attitude. I hope you're able to give yourself credit for that.

  3. Love how your family and especially your cousin's mum is reaching out to you. What a wonderful gift! You can be very proud of you how you got through Mother's Day.

    I'm very sorry that your meds are not working right now! This must be frustrating. (((hugs))

  4. I am so sorry about the Menopur :( It is so frustrating when your body doesn't react how it should (and how you WANT it to!).

    The St. Gerard medal is lovely. My Mom gave me a St. Gerard prayer card last winter and I say the prayer every night for all of us! Here is the prayer if you are interested:
    Almighty God, Author of Life,
    your servant,
    St. Gerard Majella,
    practiced love of you
    and love of others
    in an extraordinary way.
    Through his powerful intercession,
    grant the gift of life to couples
    who need your help.
    Protect the unborn and
    assist mothers-to-be.
    May children,
    especially those in the womb
    and the most vulnerable,
    be a sign of your unfailing love.

    I'll be thinking of you!

  5. So sorry the menopur hasn't worked :( hugs. Am really glad though that your family sounded awesome, that they're trying to be there for you even if it's just by not saying silly things! Definitely worth having a word with your brother. I think my bro and his fiancee will have a baby sooner rather than later so I also need to do this! We have to protect ourselves too :)