Monday, September 10, 2012

Weird little glimpse into my marriage


Aw. Aren't we cute?
Before I get started on Stupid Stork's proposition to provide a weird little glimpse into my marriage, I decided I need a new name for Hubs on the blog. Hubs is fine, and I actually do call him Hubs in real life on a semi-regular basis, but it's too common in the blog world.

So we're calling him Champ from now on. It makes sense as "Bum Ovaries" that he would be "Champion Swimmers" so he'll be Champ for short.

I feel like I've been teasing this "little glimpse" forever now so I better get on with it.

I've never been attracted to guys who aren't nice. I never saw the "bad boy" appeal. If a guy didn't treat me with respect and kindness, I dropped him like a hot tamale. I didn't want to change somebody or wait for somebody to change for me, and so by and large, I dated nice guys who treated me well.

Champ makes "nice guys" look like child pornographers (to borrow a phrase from Saturday Night Live's "Inside the Actor's Studio" with James Lipton and Charles Nelson Reilly, played by Will Ferrell and Alec Baldwin... in a word, hilarious!). He takes nice to a whole new level. He's so genuinely kind-hearted and selfless, I have given up the idea of ever feeling like I deserve to be with him. I will happily admit that I hit the husband jackpot. Because I really did.

We met in college. We had the same freshman Honors English Rhetoric class. He remembers me more than I remember him. He liked my sweaters and high pony tails and he asked for my number (my four digit dorm phone number, pre-cell phone era) and called one day for me to "review his paper." He left a message on my answering machine and I blew him off.

Three and a half years later, I met him again at a bar near campus. I was drunk, fresh off a breakup, and out to make friends. I was wearing one of those silky lingerie looking tops that was all the rage back in '05 and he asked me if I was wearing a real shirt. Ha! I ran into him again a couple days later on campus and asked him if he would be at the bar that night... he seemed surprised and said, "the bar?! It's Sunday!" I was a bit of a lush back then and explained that yes, my girlfriends and I were going to the bar every night until graduation. Guess who showed up at the bar that night?

We never looked back.

Besides being generally wonderful:

  • Champ is a boobs man. And thank goodness for that, because my butt and legs are nothing to write home about. Every time I get out of the shower and am bare-chested for a second before I get a bra or t-shirt on, Champ is sneaking a peek or trying to cop a feel. I act annoyed but I'm secretly glad he's a fan. I keep wondering if it will get old, but it's like he's seeing the girls for the first time, every time. 
  • He laughs hysterically during movies and shows at stuff that no one else catches. You won't see him laughing when the crowd laughs, but he'll die at a funny look in the background or a quiet side comment. When he's feeling down, he watches Boom Goes the Dynamite to the 22 second mark and completely erupts into giggles. 
  • We have a policy of not turning down invitations unless we have to. We never want to be the kind of couple that people don't bother asking to hang out. My brother and his wife have become that couple. We rarely ask them to hang because they are always too tired or my brother is busy playing video games. Lame. And if we're stuck being infertile, dammit we're still gonna be a fun couple while we wait!
I could say a lot more but I want to hold back a bit if this will be a weekly thing. Thanks to Stupid Stork for the inspiration! Stop by her blog and let her know if you'd like to participate!

16 comments:

  1. Yesssss - yesssssss!

    Whenever I think of Will Ferrell's James Lipton I think of one word: scrumtrulescent.

    Bub is also thank the heavens a boob man, because that is all I have. I am 5 ft 2, and I don't really know much about my butt because I haven't seen it in yeaaaars.

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    1. Hahahaha! I could literally watch that video 100 times in a row and cry / snort water from my nose every single time. It is like looking into the face of God and seeing Him smiling back and saying ‘You are my most wondrous creation.’

      I die!

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  2. Kitt is a boob man too and also acts like he is seeing the girls for the first time every time. He also has a kind of boob tourettes compulsion, in that if he sees boobs (either naked or simply prominent) on me, on tv or even in the street he has to say 'boobs'. I have sadly caught this off him and now find myself suddenly saying boobs in the middle of an episode of 'Ghost Whisperer' or when I get out the shower.

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    1. HAHAHAHAHA! I LOVE that! I think I might have to start saying boobs every time we see them, too!

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  3. Haha you guys sound a lot like us. I was still a party girl when we met, but I had calmed down. He was so much more reserved, and more of a homebody. I'm almost glad we met after college, or he probably would have been horrified by my nightly bar schedule.

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    1. I actually think it's good that I didn't meet my husband again until the end of Senior Year - he had some serious party days in there! And by serious I mean sometimes dangerous and really stupid. I think it all worked out the way it was supposed to - sounds like it did for you too!

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  4. You guys sound very cute together... Love it.

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  5. What a fun post! I love hearing about bloggers' lives outside of IF. You and your hubby sound so adorable and like you were made for each other. :D

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  6. I have to start doing these posts, too! Love reading them. Champ sounds like quite a catch. What will we do when seeing the boobs gets old for them?

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    1. You should do one, too! I agree, Champ is quite the catch. I am one lucky gal.

      Haha, I'm not sure it's possible for Champ to get sick of boobs... maybe in my old age when they aren't so perky...? But I hope not!

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  7. Boom goes the dynamite!!!!??? I've never seen this. Awesomeness squared. Your husband is a genius :)

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  8. I watched it again and the 22nd second is the best.thing.ever!

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