Monday, March 5, 2012

Period: Friend or Foe?

Period = foe
As a young adult and well into my twenties, I considered my period as the enemy. Who wants to leak blood while feeling bloated, crampy and generally gross for a week every month? Um, yeah. Not me. I hated it. I wished I never had a period. Who's idea was this, anyway? What a ridiculous and horrendous curse on women! No fair! I call foul!

Period = friend
Things have changed. My have they changed. When I first went over 100 days without a period after getting off the pill, I started to realize that no period = something is up. And when I finally got my period that September, I was relieved. And for a couple of cycles, I was just relieved that my body seemed to be doing something right.

Period = frenemy?
I'm now in weird place with my period. On the one hand I'm disappointed. Because a visit from Aunt Flo means I'm very much not pregnant. This is why the last several times I've gotten this visit, Day One of the visit was spent crying in the shower. Because apparently the sore boobs and cramps were not impossibly early signs of pregnancy and really just an indication of a certain house guest (body guest?) on her way. Of course, I already knew that I wasn't pregnant, but a small part of me must hold out hope.

It has also come to mean that I am starting a fresh cycle, typically for me after a looooong going-nowhere cycle during which my ovaries are huffing and puffing to get something accomplished and they just run out of gas. The cycle that just ended was 63 days long. My chart was all over the place. And so were my ovaries. So I've really just been mentally ready to get this one over with already and see what the next one brings.

So while Day One (yesterday) of the cycle was spent shedding some tears, today will be spent looking forward to the possibility that this month could be the one. Here's hoping!