The chart mystery continues. After my post a few days about about my tanking temperatures, they came back up to 97.2 and are hanging around there for now.
BUT. Guess what happened. I have been having some super kick-ass cervical mucus for the past couple of days. The kind I haven't seen since NOVEMBER, which is the last time I ovulated. I won't know for sure until I see a temperature spike (OPKs don't work for me - they always say I'm ovulating even when I'm definitely not), but I am extremely encouraged that perhaps my little bum ovaries have decided to join the living this month! Right when I have hopped off the gluten-free bandwagon and started running obscenely long distances. Go figure.
Here's the chart:
Thoughts? What the hell is happening in my body? The good cervical mucus appeared on the day the temp spiked (so three days ago). That was only Day 10, which seems pretty early, but maybe I am confused because my cycles have been so effing long since getting off the pill (like 36 to 65 days each, mostly annovulatory). I had good stuff yesterday too but today not so much.
Gah, I shouldn't be obsessing about this. I've all but given up on TTC before my full marathon on May 20. I have just been assuming that running 40+ miles a week isn't exactly conducive to getting me knocked up and so I've given myself permission to stop worrying about it until the marathon. And it feels really awesome, not beating myself up about infertility every day. But then this daggone chart with my super cervical mucus comes along... hmm. It's been enough to get my hopes up, which is irritating because I know what happens when a seemingly promising cycle ends with Aunt Flo. And it involves me sobbing in the shower. And let's face it, this cycle is 95% likely to end in the same way.
Where do you draw the line between thinking "maybe, just maybe, this one is THE one?" and maintaining some modicum of rationality that will temper the optimism and prepare the psyche for disappointment?
Wow! Well good luck on the possible ovulation! And this is kind of how my body works- right after giving yourself permission to RUN, your ovaries decide they want to work. I say keep on the running and your body will adjust. Maybe? I don't know. But whatever happens, you will know when you need to draw some lines.
ReplyDeleteOh and since going off Clomid, it looks like I'm Oing on CD11 and only have a 24-day cycle. WHAT?!? So CD10 isn't THAT crazy. ;-)
ReplyDeleteI believe charting has more benefits than not, since it really helps you focus on what your body is doing and is concrete information for your doctors to review. But it also messes with our minds, which I know I am able to do all on my own with no help needed! I tried really hard to just record and ignore. Some days we succeed. Some not so much.
ReplyDeleteKeep the focus on the marathon. Take the break you deserve. And good luck!!!
Here from ICLW. I have POF - "nice" to meet someone else, but sucks that you have it too! I know so few people with this diagnosis, especially who are also in their 20's. Sounds like your oavries are trying to kick it into gear.
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean - there are very few of us out there. I just stopped by your blog and I'm so encouraged that you have your little miracle!! I haven't heard too much about embryo adoption, so I may be back to pick your brain about it. I don't think I'm "there" yet, but I think someday I might be!
DeleteNot sure about the temps but the cervical mucus sure is a good sign! And as for your last question, I struggle with finding that balance every single day so if you figure it out, be sure to let me know!
ReplyDeleteHi from ICLW! Fertility and everything that comes with it is so confusing and sometimes downright maddening! If only it followed a logical path! I have no idea how to balance hope with reality. I struggle with that every day. I hope you can figure out what's going on with your temps and hope you O soon!
ReplyDeleteHere for ICLW, nice to meet you. Love your blog title :) Good CM is a great sign, no matter what! I have lots of trouble in that department, so I know how exciting it is when you finally have some! Good luck!
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