My heart just melted for him. I don't think I've even ovulated yet, but he takes the first good news we've had in months (that I actually had some quality cervical mucus) and his hopes are sky high. Clearly he doesn't know that a pregnancy test means nothing at this early stage in the game, but I was so touched that he must be thinking about this more than he lets on.
See, he NEVER brings up infertility or TTC or his emotional reactions to any of it, EVER. He'll make jokes about how we better "get it on" and that kind of thing, but he's very concerned about making sure I'M handling everything and that I'M okay, so he kind of lets me take the lead on bringing up the topic (and when I do, he's an extremely willing participant in the conversation).Sometimes I forget that he is dealing with it too, that he thinks about it every day just like I do, and that he wants a baby just as much as me.
When he asked about my timeline for a pregnancy test, I was reminded that even though he doesn't always talk about it, he's thinking about it. And he's so much more hopeful than me. I haven't even allowed myself to THINK about a pregnancy test for this cycle. Truly it hadn't even crossed my mind yet, not even when I thought forward to the next two weeks. His question caught me off guard.
Maybe Hubs is just a more optimistic person. Maybe I've already hardened myself against being too hopeful and being too disappointed. But when he asked about a pregnancy test, he was so sincere, so eager. I was overwhelmed with love and sadness. I want to make him a daddy so badly!