My heart just melted for him. I don't think I've even ovulated yet, but he takes the first good news we've had in months (that I actually had some quality cervical mucus) and his hopes are sky high. Clearly he doesn't know that a pregnancy test means nothing at this early stage in the game, but I was so touched that he must be thinking about this more than he lets on.
See, he NEVER brings up infertility or TTC or his emotional reactions to any of it, EVER. He'll make jokes about how we better "get it on" and that kind of thing, but he's very concerned about making sure I'M handling everything and that I'M okay, so he kind of lets me take the lead on bringing up the topic (and when I do, he's an extremely willing participant in the conversation).Sometimes I forget that he is dealing with it too, that he thinks about it every day just like I do, and that he wants a baby just as much as me.
When he asked about my timeline for a pregnancy test, I was reminded that even though he doesn't always talk about it, he's thinking about it. And he's so much more hopeful than me. I haven't even allowed myself to THINK about a pregnancy test for this cycle. Truly it hadn't even crossed my mind yet, not even when I thought forward to the next two weeks. His question caught me off guard.
Maybe Hubs is just a more optimistic person. Maybe I've already hardened myself against being too hopeful and being too disappointed. But when he asked about a pregnancy test, he was so sincere, so eager. I was overwhelmed with love and sadness. I want to make him a daddy so badly!
This is lovely. Isn't it wonderful when every now and then you realize how much they want this, too? I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you.
ReplyDeleteAh bless him :) I think men are so good at remaining like a quiet calm sea to our waves of female exuberance that it's easy to think they aren't thinking about it all the time too. My hubs told me on Saturday that a few weeks ago, when we decided to start on our surrobaby quest that night he had welled up a bit thinking about it :)
ReplyDeleteWe are lucky ladies to have such thoughtful men!
How sweet of your hubs as well! We indeed are very lucky to have such wonderful husbands.
DeleteI agree with mrkh. I think when we are in the midst of temping, medicating, charting, scheduling dr appointments, etc etc etc it's very easy to forget that they(the husbands) ARE there in the background, hoping, supporting, thinking.
ReplyDeleteGive him a huge hug and tag this post to remember later if (when?) it's one of those days when it's much harder to remember they are being supportive! :)
My heart would melt too - such a sweet husband.
ReplyDeleteJust saw your comment, and wanted to stop by! You have a great blog, and I see you're a runner, too! I'm hoping to run some more marathons soon. I love this entry about your Hubs. Mine is like this too--very earnest and optimistic about any sign, always wanting me to take a pregnancy test. It's easy to forget that they're in this too.
ReplyDeletehe sounds like such a wonderful man. i hope he becomes a daddy very soon. :) it's so easy to forget how it affects our husbands, especially when they don't bring it up often. here from ICLW and sending you fertile thoughts! ;)
ReplyDeleteI just found your blog. And I'm so glad I did. We are still in the early stages to figure out what diminished ovarian reserve means. So I'm looking forward to find some great info on your site. Keeping my fingers crossed for you!
ReplyDeleteMy hubby is also much more optimistic than I am. I'm hoping his optimism will rub off on me one day.
ReplyDeleteFingers crossed your hubby's rubs off on you.
All the best.
From ICLW