12 Weeks

I can't believe it. We've arrived at the elusive "12 week" mark in this pregnancy. Today officially is 12 weeks, 3 days and I still have to pinch myself to make sure this isn't a dream.

We've told all our family and most of our friends. I told my students (I work at a college) last week and they are fascinated, spending several hours each day suggesting names, asking questions, and staring at my (very small) "bump". We haven't yet spread the news to facebook and I'm not sure we'll do that, ever. I plan on keeping my promises from this entry, posted just one week before I actually got pregnant. I am not a born-again fertile.

If we post anything on fb, the announcement will be accompanied with a "coming out of infertility closet" statement. Half of me thinks "that's nobody's f*cking business" and the other half doesn't want to contribute to this culture of infertility as a taboo subject. So that's where I am with that.

My "symptoms" are waning, big time. I've kicked the nausea almost completely. Food aversions are mostly gone (hello chocolate and Mexican food! I didn't even know I missed you until now). I'm still tired and my boobs can't be contained, but I am feeling pretty good. My dreams are CUH-RAZY. And super intense. There was that one where Champ had been plotting my murder since before we got married; that dream ended with him chasing me down the street with a knife in his hand. Then one a couple night ago during which I was babysitting my niece and a series of random events culminated with me taking a bite out of a live earthworm. Then the one where I was drunk and trying to explain to a co-worker how to properly taste wine. "Mary. There are five steps, and each of the steps starts with 'M'. Step one. Mint. Does it taste minty? <<erupt into giggles>> Maybe they don't all start with 'M'." I also dreamt that I named my baby girl "Phillipa." I woke up in a panic.

I'm enjoying the crazy dreams. I'm trying to write them down so I don't forget them all. In fact, I'm keeping a journal to document all of my regular happenings while pregnant, which might explain why I've been so bad about posting on here. I've started "bump" pictures a few weeks ago, but I don't think I'm going to post them on here. Ya'll see enough of that IRL I'm sure!

UPDATE: Also - I turned down the job. It felt too risky to make such a big change when I feel comfortable and safe and supported in my current job. The benefits, too, were waaaaay worse at that new job. I'm actually feeling a little more appreciative of my career in higher education after seeing how expensive insurance is in the private sector!