Here's the poem I had in my inbox from Champ today (some words removed / changed)
There once was a girl born in 1982,
In the shadow of a mountain that smells like poo,
But this girl smelled great,
A Christmas present that couldn’t wait,
Conceived before her parents could say, “I do.”
Jennifer was smart from the start,
A little kid with a big heart,
She knew the alphabet song well,
Knew heaven from hell,
And was the first one to laugh at a fart.
The [lastname] clan was immediately smitten,
Her cuteness was likened to that of a kitten,
Her blond hair and big smile,
Beamed from [streetname] for miles,
In her honor, poems would be written.
Over her siblings she ruled like a queen,
She was bossy, but never really mean,
She loved her bro and sis dearly,
Although she quite clearly,
Broke her brother’s arm in her pre-teens.
She got older and ditched her eye glasses
Plucked her eyebrows and curled her eyelashes,
That cute little Jen,
Turned into a ten,
And boys started calling in masses.
She went to college and met some new buds,
She dated some guys, but they were all duds,
Until one day at the bar,
She saw [Champ] from afar,
And though, “Finally, I’ve found my stud.”
She spent her twenties with [Champ],
She traveled, worked, and [camped],
Planned student activities at [school'sname],
With her co-worker [friend's name],
Sometimes flying to Mexico for [some pamp. ering] (this verse isn't that good with the names changed).
So far her life has been quite fun,
But the adventure’s just begun,
We waited and prayed,
Now a little one’s on the way,
And everyone thinks “Seamus” is a great name for a son.
As she looks back on the 30 years that she’s had,
She should laugh out loud and be glad,
The next 30 might be tough,
I hear childbirth is rough,
But she’ll be a great mother to that lucky lad.