tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3068924798079479467.post6711765248431574740..comments2023-04-04T09:13:08.032-04:00Comments on My Bum Ovaries: Therapy #1: "TELL People How to be Supportive"Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11642276930655962602noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3068924798079479467.post-23102141447859919222012-07-05T12:39:31.310-04:002012-07-05T12:39:31.310-04:00I don't think I'll send an e-mail or anyth...I don't think I'll send an e-mail or anything out to my friends - more like, I'm going to try to remember these and work them into conversations when I think it's appropriate. I already did this a little yesterday, when I told my mom that her telling me "she just knows" it's going to happen isn't helpful. I was pretty tactful about it (I think) but it's tough to talk about! <br /><br />I'm totally with you on the suggestions - "just adopt" or "you can always do donor eggs!" ... UGH!!! I want to scream that it's just not. that. simple! <br /><br />I realized I am also going to miss next month's meeting of Resolve, b/c I'll be flying home from San Diego during the meeting time. Bummer!Jenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11642276930655962602noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3068924798079479467.post-66821474623697848892012-07-05T12:34:00.134-04:002012-07-05T12:34:00.134-04:00That has helped me a lot too, as long as I was pre...That has helped me a lot too, as long as I was prepared to talk about it right away after those appointments.Jenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11642276930655962602noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3068924798079479467.post-33399871191642770972012-07-05T12:32:57.772-04:002012-07-05T12:32:57.772-04:00Yeah, I struggle with that a lot too... I want to ...Yeah, I struggle with that a lot too... I want to be a good friend to my pregnant friends and friends with kids, but they also need to show a little compassion and understand that what they say (and ESPECIALLY complain about) affects me!Jenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11642276930655962602noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3068924798079479467.post-79121209782957083302012-07-05T12:31:01.692-04:002012-07-05T12:31:01.692-04:00Yes! That's so frustrating and I totally agree...Yes! That's so frustrating and I totally agree - when I have to explain the same thing over and over to the same person, it's like "were you not listening the first twelve times???"Jenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11642276930655962602noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3068924798079479467.post-18025073638837325652012-07-03T18:54:17.363-04:002012-07-03T18:54:17.363-04:00I LOVE your list, especially #1 and #6! Telling pe...I LOVE your list, especially #1 and #6! Telling people how to be supportive would be hard for me, but your list is awesome. Are you planning on sending out a mass email to those closest to you? Too bad it isn't close to Christmas...otherwise you could send one of those Christmas letters explaining your situation and including this list (some people find those letters cheesy lol but it could work in this situation). <br /><br />The thing I hate is when people tell me "enjoy your time now because you won't have any when kids come." I don't care about my time, give me a baby! I don't know if the people in your life are like this, but you know the ones that are always suggesting alternative ways to have children...like "just adopt." As if it's that easy! Maybe you could add to your list something about how you and your husband have thought through all your options and that anything someone else might suggest has most likely already been considered and you would appreciate people not making suggestions on things to try. Unless you like people's suggestions :) I don't mind suggestions, but I dislike when the same person suggests the same thing over and over again lol. <br /><br />Anyway, I'm glad you like your counselor. We missed you at Resolve though :)Beahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18327352140358330036noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3068924798079479467.post-7773261115188497192012-07-03T18:23:53.976-04:002012-07-03T18:23:53.976-04:00It's a great list. :)
The one thing I find t...It's a great list. :)<br /><br />The one thing I find that helps me is to tell my core group of supporters about upcoming appointments and treatments. The ones that really "get it" will remember and check in with me about how the appointment went. It's not a huge thing, but it means so much to me to have people show that kind of support and caring because every appointment is stressful and nerve-wracking.Jennyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14101535107377688458noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3068924798079479467.post-28806381381452538342012-07-03T16:49:32.596-04:002012-07-03T16:49:32.596-04:00Well done on going! you should be dead proud of yo...Well done on going! you should be dead proud of yourself :) I love the list. I would maybe add sometimes people need to censor themself: they shud think - I ddefo don't need to see that bump picture that will make me cry in the shower for a week, I don't need to hear about what an utter joy/pain in the arse pregnancy is. Etc!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3068924798079479467.post-29114782738633748572012-07-03T15:26:06.744-04:002012-07-03T15:26:06.744-04:00I like the list.
For me, it was important that ...I like the list. <br /><br />For me, it was important that people dont ignore us because they dont know what to say. Please dont let me sit in my shit! Please help me think of something other than this! <br /><br />Please dont continue to ask me questions like... "do you need a hysterectomy?" I appreciate that by asking questions you think you are showing me you care, however by asking me the same stupid questions 16 times, shows me that you dont care, and havent researched or done anything on your own to even be in a position to be supportive. If you dont/cant understand, accept that this may be out of your area of expertise and let's just talk about the weather! :) <br /><br />I'm glad therapy went well. I'm not a touchy feely person, and I was shocked that I found it helpful.KayBeehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08658373485056670950noreply@blogger.com